if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He passed out mid-signature
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
