the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
