just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
