Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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