The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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