I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
