Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
