This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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