the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
