Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
