we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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