the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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