She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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