So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
