Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
