I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
