You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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