I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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