I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
