so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
