So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
