if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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