Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
