She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think your dad took our porno
I am naked and annoyed.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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