i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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