If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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