I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
