theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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