Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
