Pappa wants mamma naked
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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