so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
