Sry I called you an 8
there's paper in my vomit.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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