What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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