Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
