Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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