I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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