Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
