this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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