I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
