I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
