the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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