So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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