The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
