Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
