Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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