Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
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