New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
