Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize