No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
