i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I think your dad took our porno
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
