I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
