I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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