Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
